Storms & New Beginnings

I've just woken up from a night of interrupted sleep. Aside from my 3-year old asking for “tuck-ins” following his trips to the bathroom, I was startled awake a few times by the rain lashing at the windows and the howling of the wind, which apparently reached speeds of up to 60 mph last night. This morning, the street outside is littered with twigs and leaves, evidence of the storm that just passed through the area. And yet - the sky is now suddenly blue, the sun bright, and the air crisp and clean. There’s a sense of newness and freshness that cannot be had unless a storm had passed through, dampening the earth and clearing the air.

I’m reminded of the many clients I’ve worked with who have come to me in the midst of their own storms of life, often feeling that their particular storm - anxiety, depression, or the sleep deprivation of new parenthood- will simply go on forever. In the midst of this storm, we don’t see the blue sky or the clean air, we only can see the winds and rain battering us incessantly. At that moment, we can choose to surrender to hopelessness, to overwhelm - or to trust that there will be an end to the storm. We often need others - a friend, partner, or therapist - to speak the truth that our storm will not last forever. And then, we need to trust that we can and will make it to the other side.

What awaits us on the other side? Much like storms clear the air and send rain to nourish seedlings, the storms of our life can clear out the clutter and clarify what is truly important to us. Those twigs littering the street after the windstorm may, for you, be societal expectations you no longer need, or excessive commitments, or old habits. By shaking them off, you emerge lighter, whittled down to the essence of what is important to you, yet still whole. The storms of life also can create fertile ground for personal growth, by turning us both inward and by empowering us to reach out for support from friends, family, or supportive new habits. Those same people who come to me lost in their own storms often emerge with a new sense of identity, of purpose, and of the beauty of their life as the sun emerges after their own storms. If you are in the midst of a storm, know you are not alone. Reach out for support - to a friend, a loved one, or a therapist - who can serve as a beacon of hope to guide you through the wind and the rain.

Rainy Day Clichés

This Spring in San Diego, we experienced an unusual amount of rain.  When it rains here, most everybody grumbles about getting wet, or how terribly San Diegans drive in the rain, but they also acknowledge, “It’s good for us to get rain.”  Rain is a mixed blessing for our environment and lifestyle, but what is less talked about is how weather affects our thoughts, feelings, and activities.

I remember an episode of “The Office” in which the staff members bet on how many “Rainy Day clichés” Phyllis would use in one day.  Here’s the list of phrases that Phyllis uses on her rainy day:

1. It's raining cats & dogs out there. Holy Moly.

2. Nobody knows how to drive in the rain

3. The roads are actually slickest in the first half hour

4. The plants are going to love this

5. I actually sleep better when its raining

6. This weather makes me want to stay at home curled up with a good book

I am admittedly guilty of using many of these rainy day clichés (and I bet you are too).  Even so, let’s take a closer look at the last two phrases. The 5th phrase states “I actually sleep better when it’s raining.” Weather, as well as our environment, has a profound effect on our state of mind and mental health.  The sensory experience of rain is all-encompassing. We see dark clouds roll in, droplets form on our windows and on plants, and the landscape change color as it gets saturated with water. We smell wet pavement, the scent of the earth, and wet plant matter.  We feel water drip down our bodies, cooling us off. Finally, we hear the calming sound of rain on the roof or the ground, and even perhaps the occasional sound of thunder. There may also be some negative experiences that come with the rain - anxiety about driving safely, discomfort in getting wet, fear of lightning, thunder, flooding, mudslides, and more.  The unpredictablility of the natural world can be simultaneously awe-inspiring and frightening

Phyllis’s sixth phrase is “This weather makes me want to stay at home curled up with a good book.” I feel you, Phyllis - both my tea and book consumption increase significantly in cold, rainy weather.  The outdoor environment (a.k.a. “nature”) impacts our mood, bodily sensations, and choice of activity. 

I could go on and on about the profound ways that our mental health interacts with the environment around us.  The science underlying this newly emergent field of ecopsychology is taking off, and it is incredibly compelling (more on that in a future blog post!)  But for now, I want to leave you with a few questions to reflect on:

• Where do you feel most at peace?  What sensory experiences do you have at that place?

• How has your relationship with the natural world developed or changed over your lifetime?  Have you had profound spiritual/mental experiences in nature?

• What is one way that you can enhance your connection to the natural world today?